Skip to Content

7 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Special Again After the Baby Comes



Quick disclaimer:  Simple Living Mommy is positive vibes only.  I’ve received a lot of negative comments on this post from people who either REALLY hate their husbands or are just totally offended that a new mom would care about her husband’s feelings at all.  Your husband BETTER be taking great care of you after you have a baby, if he isn’t, send him my way 😉  Finally, all comments are approved before they’re posted, so any not-so-nice comments are deleted before anyone can see them…in other words, positive vibes only or don’t bother 😉

You’re exhausted, confused, sore, and inundated with expected and unexpected visitors.  This is the unhappy reality after bringing baby home from the hospital.

Sure, you’re excited to be a first (or second, or third) time mom, but there are a lot of not so nice experiences that come right after having a baby.  Your husband is probably feeling a lot of these effects too…and he is hyper-focused on taking great care of his rockstar wife and brand new baby.

I read this book and it completely changed our marriage.  Learning how to love each other the right way made postpartum SO much easier for both of us when emotions were high and sleep was nonexistent.

While any new dad had better be awesome at rocking it postpartum, that comes with a ton of stress for any parent going through the crazy stressful postpartum period.

That husband that you made that beautiful little bundle of joy with is going through some pretty hefty emotions too.  Even though it’s 100% your job to completely focus on your own recovery and bonding with your new baby, just a few really easy changes in the coming days and weeks can make all the difference to the new daddy in your house while making your own life easier!

Step one is getting that hubby a new daddy manual.  I absolutely love this book for new dads.

Our Story

When we first brought our new little one home from the hospital, we had no shortage of stress.

It was during a crazy snow storm in Pittsburgh, our pipes were frozen, our baby came 5 weeks early so we weren’t prepared, and I had a bad case of the baby blues.

My husband, who is always so content and loving, had to deal with all of our craziness all by himself while I healed and took care of our new tiny person…and then still have the energy to help me recover, support me emotionally, and learn to be a new dad.

He’s a rock star and never once complained – even when he switched jobs and we moved 7 hours away when that tiny person was just 5 weeks old (if you’ve followed this blog for very long, you know we’re completely insane and make stupid decisions like this often 🙂  ).

It finally occurred to me that the love and patience I needed from him needed to flow both ways.

Here are some quick tips to make the transition a little easier on him too –

  • Include your husband in decisions with the baby. Even small things like letting him pick out the baby’s outfit can go a long way.


  • Don’t criticize his attempts at parenting. It doesn’t matter if a diaper is on crooked or even backwards.  Laugh it off.  You might not realize it right now, but you’re making amazing memories together that you’ll be able to appreciate one day.


  • Give daddy some trust with the new baby. Fight the urge to hover or be present every second.  This is just as much for you as it is for him.  Take that time to yourself and do the things you loved to do before you had a baby.  Even if it’s just a few minutes to sit down with a book or take a quick bath.  Now that our son is a little older, my husband showers with him on a regular basis.  They’ve done this since he was probably 9 months old.  My husband puts on old country music that I can’t stand, and they stay in there singing and squealing at each other.  My husband wouldn’t trade the one on one time for anything, and I’m betting our little one wouldn’t either.


  • Help prioritize your marriage by telling your husband what you need.  Let him focus on your marriage and making you happy while you focus on bonding with your little one.  It can be as simple as telling him it would mean a lot to you if he got up through the night just so you don’t feel alone when baby needs to nurse at 2 am.  Those late night feedings are lonely!  Wake his butt up too!


    • Even before the 6 week post-partum “go ahead” there are lots of ways to enjoy some quality “alone time.” Sex is SO important to a marriage, but it doesn’t have to be just intercourse!  Find your energy, and then find 10 minutes to enjoy each other.   You can read my tips for having an awesome sex life when co-sleeping here.  Having that quality time with my husband made me feel normal again – something I totally needed.  After I had our first baby I felt like a totally different person and as though my body wasn’t mine anymore.  Getting back to flirting and romance made me feel like not just me – but US – again.


  • Take advantage of nap time and have little dates. We like to throw picnics in the middle of our living room floor.  Even if you’re too sleep deprived in the very beginning to do anything enjoyable, make some time to snuggle together for your own nap while baby is napping.  The oxytocin rush from a short cuddle session might be all the date night you need!


  • Never underestimate the power of compliments! Give your husband plenty of kudos for all that he is doing to help you in your recovery and in taking care of the new little one.


  • Ask for help! You’re doing all of the work after having a baby – breastfeeding, getting up at all hours of the night…  While some husbands might be perfectly content to sit back and let you do it all, most men who love their wives WANT to be a part of it all and want to help with the transition.  It might sound counter-intuitive, but feeling needed is exactly what your husband needs right now when your time is mostly taken up by a new baby.  Ask him to intervene with unexpected guests, to help figure out something for dinner, to get involved with your nursing relationship with your little one…there are so many ways to include hubby in this new adventure!

Don’t Forget…

Most importantly, try to soak up all of these beautiful moments because they pass too fast!  It’s the effort that you’re putting in that will really stand out to your husband.

Even if you’re having trouble keeping your eyes open during your picnic dinner date in the middle of the nursery floor, your husband will notice the time that you took to put some emphasis back on your marriage.

Compliments, asking for his help, and appreciating out loud to him the help that he does give you can go a long way in reassuring your husband that he still has the biggest place in your heart after the new baby arrives.  Take the time to make your husband feel special during this beautiful time.  I promise, you’ll be so happy that you did!


What tips can you offer to first time parents to help each other feel special and included?  What are some things you wish you had done when you first brought baby home from the hospital?  Let me know in the comments!


More Like This…

What Your Husband Wants You to Know About Sex During Pregnancy

8 Ways to Include Your Husband in Your Pregnancy

9 Rules for a Happy Marriage


Friday 19th of April 2019

Hi there,

I’m the Community Manager with Anagram Interactive, where we specialize in connecting established brands with prominent bloggers. We’re currently working with Paperless Post, a company that designs customizable online stationery, to show that communication can be personal and well-designed regardless of the medium.

Paperless Post has partnered with several world-famous designers and lifestyle brands, including kate spade new york, Oscar de la Renta, Jonathan Adler, and Rifle Paper Co., and has delivered over 85 million cards to date. Since you have such an engaging and beautifully-designed blog, we’d like to offer you a number of Paperless Post digital Coins for free to try out our online service and write about your experience.

We really think you’ll enjoy Paperless Post and can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let me know if this is something you’d be interested in and I’ll show you how to get started!



carolyn wayne

Friday 5th of April 2019

This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me..My name is CAROLINE WAYNE. and I am based in NEW YORK , USA. My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me with our three children. I felt like my life was about to end,and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa Justus who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called Grace,she testified about how papa Justus brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa Justus e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. papa Justus is really a talented and gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa Justus today, he might be the answer to your problems. Here is his contact: [email protected] Thank you great Justus. Contact him for the following:

(1)If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3)You want to be promoted in your office. (4)You want women/men to run after you. (5)If you want a child. (6)[You want to be rich. (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8)If you need financial assistance. (9)Herbal care 10)Help bringing people out of prison (11)Marriage Spells (12)Miracle Spells (13)Beauty Spells (14)PROPHECY CHARM (15)Attraction Spells (16)Evil Eye Spells (17)Kissing Spell (18)Remove Sickness Spells (19)ELECTION WINNING SPELLS (20)SUCCESS IN EXAMS SPELLS (21) Charm to get who to love you. (22)Business spell. (23) Find your long lost family.

Email him at: [email protected] Whats-app him at: +2347033354868 Website:


Tuesday 29th of January 2019

I have a question more so than a comment which is: If you make this time for your husband yet are left feeling underappreciated for doing so, what can you do? My husband has really been a rockstar. He got up with me during the night the first few weeks. He would ask me if I needed anything while I nursed the babe. He did the first bath at the hospital and has done a couple since being couple as well as plenty poopy diaper changes. We’re cloth diapering so this part was kind of a big deal for him lol He compliments me as a person, a mother, and continuously makes me feel beautiful. Before last night, we had spent maybe six whole hours together without kids (we also have a four year old and the baby is nine weeks). Instead of taking a nap in the afternoon, I made sure the house was clean, had dinner ready for when he got home, and told him there was one more surprise. It was that we were taking the kids over to his aunt’s house so we could spend some time together. So, that’s what we did. And then while we were on our way home, he said to me, “I know you made dinner already but it’s not what I want. Can we just go out?” And after that, I was crushed. So when we got home later and I tried talking to him about it, he blamed me for not telling him that I wanted to be intimate because if he would have known that, we would have come home... He doesn’t usually behave like this. So I don’t know why he thought it was appropriate. It’s now the next morning and I’m still feeling sad because of it. Does he just not realize how much effort it takes for me to make the time?


Thursday 20th of December 2018

[…] to pick up your free breastfeeding pillow here using code “simplelivingmommy”)and ways to make your husband feel special after the baby comes!  Plus, don’t miss my tips on how to have an awesome sex life after you […]


Monday 22nd of October 2018

I just want to say, thank you for posting this. My husband and I have been through a lot. We are each other’s second marriage (but first child for both of us) and his ex did a real number on not just his self confidence but his self worth. We’ve made a lot of progress with it (and I’m fiercely protective of him) but when we got pregnant, he started kind of preparing himself to be the least important person in the family (his ex literally made sure he knew that he was worthless to her.). I’ve talked with him about it plenty of times, and he logically knows that as far as I’m concerned, he comes first (I know the baby will physically come first because - well - newborn/infant/toddler/kid) but in my heart, my thoughts, my considerations, and how I make every day go, that he is first to me. We’re due in a month, and I’ve been getting worried about how I’ll be able to enact things that help his emotional brain understand that he’s still first to me and pour more love into making us stronger as well as his logical brain. How can I make choices that help support his continued rebuilding of selflove and feeling like he is needed, wanted, and an equal partner? Your article today helped give me some ways to do that. I know some people will think “why does that matter? You’re the one who pushed out a baby!” But to be honest with you, I do want to put my husband first and his emotions and needs don’t become less important just because we started having kids. My love for him will not diminish because I have a child to love as well. So, I want to continue to be able to be his rock and support him the same as he is my rock.

Comments are closed.