How to Afford Being a Stay at Home Mom
You CAN afford to be a stay at home mom (or dad) even if your spouse has a low income. If you are determined enough to make it happen, you can almost definitely find a way to cut your bills and spending down to a point that makes being a stay at home mom possible.
I Want to be a Stay at Home Mom
I can’t tell you how often I hear this from my readers.
It’s almost always followed by “but we can’t afford it” or “my husband says there’s no way I can.”
Believe me when I tell you that with a ton of commitment and financial strategy, being a stay at home mom IS POSSIBLE.
We did absolutely insane things to make it possible for our family. I don’t expect you to go this crazy, but if you’re interested in our inspirational story, stay tuned for the end of this post.
In the meantime, here’s what I want you to do…
How to Live on One Income
Right now, I want you to decide you’re going to sacrifice to make this happen.
That means giving up going out to eat, buying expensive makeup or other luxuries, traveling for the hell of it…
For now, I want you to promise me you’ll be willing to give up whatever it takes to make becoming a stay at home mom happen.
Your kids are going to grow up whether you’re there or not.
They’re only tiny once. Do whatever it takes to be home with them if that’s your goal.
How to Live Frugally on One Income
When we went from two incomes to one, it cut our income literally in half.
This meant we had to completely change the lifestyle we were used to.
No more traveling to Charleston, SC on weekends just because.
No more going out to eat just for something to do.
Then the number one thing – getting our food budget under control.
How to Save on Bills
I want you to make a list of all of your monthly bills.
Then, go through your bank account and write down what you’ve paid for each of those things for the last 3 months.
This gives you a pretty good average, especially when you’re talking about utilities.
Your goal now is to find a way to lower each and every one of these things.
Every little bit helps.
For us, this meant shopping around for new car insurance, calling all of our credit card companies and requesting a lower interest rate (two said yes!), and renegotiating our cell phone plan.
Are there any things you can completely cut out?
For us, this has been cable. I have zero regrets, it’s saved us over $200 a month every single month, and I don’t miss it.
We have Netflix and Hulu now instead.
These are the 4 main sacrifices I made to afford to become a stay at home mom.
Pay Bills Weekly Instead of Monthly
You know how some weeks of the month you feel rich, but other weeks the money is gone before it even hits your bank account?
This is how it was for us.
The 1st of the month, everything was due. We even had to pull money from savings to cover all of our bills sometimes.
From the 15th to the end of the month, it felt like we could do whatever we wanted and still have money left over (when living on two incomes).
When I realized our income was going to be cut in half, I started paying all of our bills weekly.
I can’t recommend this enough.
This was the closest we came to a budget for a long time and it saved our butts when we went through this massive income drop.
Becoming a One Income Family – Our Story
When we found out that I was pregnant with our Nugget, I was excited, but immediately filled with fear. Financial fear. He was a complete surprise and our living situation couldn’t have been much worse. We lived in an RV in my parent’s backyard with whom we have a very turbulent relationship, we had a ton of debt. It was one of the worst situations to be bringing a baby into.
Still, I was determined to make my dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom a reality.
With my husband’s unwavering support, we have been able to survive and thrive on one small income by making a few changes.
Getting awesome at not wasting food by keeping easy food storage supplies on hand like this and this were probably the easiest and fastest money-saving moves we made.
If you are in the same situation and want to stay at home with your little ones, please throw caution to the wind and decide right now that you are going to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make your dream a reality.
For us, that meant moving south to a new job for my husband, better weather, and away from the dysfunctional pull of our families.
It meant resolving to live in an RV for a few months while we worked to build up my husband’s credit score so we could buy a home, and it meant living as cheaply as possible to make our dollars stretch as far as they possibly could.
I started a blog and worked my BUTT off to get it to make $1000 a month in just 6 months.
When Nugget was just 5 weeks old, we drove an RV, a moving truck, and our SUV south to our new home in Durham, NC.
Our home was the RV that we were bringing, but we were parking it in the most inexpensive campground that we could find. We paid $160 a month for our Jayco Travel Trailer, and $440 a month in lot rent at the campground.
This included electric and water and was our main financial priority.
You’re probably thinking we moved because my husband could make significantly more at this new job.
Nope! We moved 7 hours from our hometown for a job that paid a few cents LESS per hour. Y
es, and I was giving up my income to do so.
To get to a better climate and away from negative family influences for our little one, it was so worth it.
I can honestly say that decision we made a year ago was the BEST decision we have ever made for our family and our marriage. Hands down.
How to Live on One Income – A New Car
We got rid of our SUVs and bought a 2002 Chevy Surburban.
This thing was stained inside and was hideous to look at.
The dash was peeling…it smelled weird.
It had good bones and my husband thought that for just $2200, it was an awesome deal.
We painted the carpet and the dash to make it look brand new with this cheap paint.
We cleaned the headlight covers to make them look brand new with one of these restoration kits.
You’d never know that car is a 2002 and now it has been running for over a year.
It’s already paid for itself, even though it’s a gas-guzzler.
We recently bought a 2007 Honda Odyssey, also in cash, to have two cars in case something happens to one of them.
We paid under $5000 for this car.
Having cars that are paid in full has dramatically reduced our car insurance payments (by around $250 a month) and we’re now down over $700 in car payments.
Do whatever it takes and get rid of your car payment!
How to Afford to be a Stay at Home Mom – Get Control of Your Food Budget!
Stop eating out on a whim. Going out to eat is one of my biggest weaknesses.
We were able to still go out on occasion with the help of gift cards from our Discover card points and gifts from relatives. We still had to cut WAY back.
We’ve always been good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) about stocking up on food when we find a really good deal.
The thing is, when you’re living in an RV in under 400 square feet, there just isn’t much space to store anything!
Learn to finally (FINALLY!) stick to a meal plan! We finally figured out why our meal plan kept failing and I believe this system will work for you too!
When you’re trying to live on a tight budget, start researching sales! The biggest food sale that Scotty and I go to is Big Lots (stick with me here…) when they have their 20% off sales.
I know that Big Lots is probably the last place you think of when you consider grocery shopping, but trust me, it’s worth it.
Sign up on their website for their e-mail alerts and you’ll be notified of these 20% off sales when they roll around. It was at these sales that we stock up on canned goods and dried items like pastas.
Stay out of the store and order your food for pickup. Walmart actually offers this service and it has saved us a TON in impulse buys.
I order what I need and get the heck out of there. It takes me 5 minutes from start to finish and is crazy easy with toddlers. If you use my link to order your first order, we both get $10 off. Pretty sweet deal!
Another option if it’s available in your area is Amazon Prime Pantry. I love that you can get Whole Foods items this way.
Watch for sales elsewhere.
Whole Foods is usually too expensive for us to even consider shopping at, but one day we happened to be in the store and saw an AMAZING deal on organic tortillas. T
hey were only 50 cents for a 6 pack of organic tortillas! We bought all that we thought we could fit in our freezer and then started using those for as many meals as we could.
Make “dump” meals.
When you know things are going to be really tight, especially at the end of a paycheck when you’re waiting to get paid again, dump meals are an awesome go-to.
We throw frozen veggies, vegetable stock, and some noodles or beans into a pot and see what happens. We’ve never made a soup or stew that we weren’t absolutely in love with!
Bread – stock up when you see the “We Made Too Much” racks at Walmart.
Their French bread loaves are usually only $1 which is already an amazing deal, but you can often find them for only 75 cents or even less! When you see this, if you have the freezer space – stock up!
We use these for dipping in our soups, for making French bread pizzas, and for just making plain old sandwiches.
Finally, shop at Aldi or Lidl!
You can buy produce cheaper than anywhere else (or use their sale ads to price match at Walmart), they have an incredible selection of rotating specialty items, and they have great prices on things like cheese.
Also, keep an eye out for their discount section, usually in the middle of the store near the canned goods. Just last week we stocked up on bags of tortilla chips that were marked down to just 35 cents!
How to Survive on One Income and Still Live
We try to make great memories while still living on an extremely tight budget.
Look for cheap or free entertainment options in your area. Our city offers free concerts in the park every other Thursday in the summer, so for just the price of parking, we get a night out on the lawn to listen to music and can pack our own food.
There is also a free outdoor movie night just one city over where we can go and watch old favorites, like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
We LOVE to go camping and go for hikes, and you can usually do that stuff for free! Our local state park offers primitive camping for only $10. Explore local parks in your area. Follow local museums and other attractions on Facebook so you’ll be alerted when they’re having discount or free days.
Keep an eye out for festivals in your area. These are almost always free to get in, and if you eat before you go or pack your own snacks, you can have a whole day of fun without spending a dime!
How to Afford Being a Stay at Home Mom – Cut Cable
Oh – and this one should go without saying – CANCEL YOUR CABLE! We used to pay $200 a month for cable TV and ooooh how I wish I could have that money back!! You won’t miss it, just do it. Today. Seriously, it’s that big a deal.
One of our favorite purchases was our Amazon Firestick. We use it to watch all of our favorite shows on Netflix, plus we can watch tons of other shows with Amazon Prime.
Get Netflix! We pay $8.59 for DVD service and $13.59 for streaming service.
With these two options, we’re able to watch the same shows that I used to watch on HGTV, I just might have to wait for them to pop up on the streaming option unless I want to get DVDs in the mail and watch them a few episodes at a time.
Sign up for Redbox text message alerts and go get a DVD every time they have a free offer. There are SO many ways around having cable that there is really no reason to keep forking out so much of your hard earned cash each month.
Amazon Prime (try Amazon Prime FREE here. That’s how I got started) is also a HUGE lifesaver.
We can watch Daniel Tiger episodes whenever we want…plus their shipping lets us get awesome deals on things for all over the house – including our incredibly cheap king sized bed that we’re in love with, for dirt cheap and did I mention free shipping??
Where there is a will, there is often a way. If your bills are what is keeping you from staying at home with your kids, consider making drastic changes. Move into a smaller house. Get rid of your car and get a beater car. Move to a cheaper area like we did. We finally were able to purchase a small home after living in an RV with our baby for 9 months.
Believe that you can do it and you can truly do anything! Call your credit card companies and see if they can work with you to lower your payment. Try this with all of your debtors – it can’t hurt to ask. Sign up for the budget plan on your utilities like electric and gas. Shop around for cheaper car insurance. Cut out the unnecessary things and you’ll see how much of a luxury they become. Coffee at Starbucks? We do that MAYBE once every 3 months. The only difference is now we actually enjoy it!
Finally, just do whatever it takes.
Here are some things I sacrificed in order to be a stay at home mom. I promise, it’s so worth it. I wake up next to my beautiful son every morning knowing I’m going to be the only one taking care of him for the next 13 hours until his daddy gets home. I get to see every new thing that he learns, I change every diaper (I see this as a perk!), and I make sure he has a well-rounded social life.
I am lucky to have an amazing husband who supports us and makes this possible. My husband works on a survey crew and LOVES what he does.
He isn’t making a six-figure income. We’re living on a very low income and are able to make this work. PLUS, we have another baby on the way – and this one we planned!
If you are willing to make some HUGE changes, some sacrifices to your current lifestyle, and to get creative with paying bills and making food, I promise you that staying home with your family IS possible. If we can get out of the situation that we were in and still make this happen for our family, you absolutely can too!
Are you struggling to afford to stay at home with your kids? What changes did you make to make being a stay at home mom possible? Do you have any questions about how I’m able to do it? I want to help everyone stay at home with their babies if that’s what they’re being pulled to do. Reach out to me in the comments and let’s get you on the right track!
Tuesday 21st of May 2019
Wow this was very inspirational and gave me the motivation I need to really cut back and fulfill my dream of being a SAHM. I’m having trouble getting my husband on board and I financially have cut back on everything except the lease I’m dreadfully stuck in till 2020. (Wish there was an easy way to end it). I’m really having trouble with a grocery plan to keep the essentials stocked up but yet be frugal about my grocery spending. Every time I’m at the grocery store I leave with a bill of 100$ and I feel like I tried to get the best deals but still feel like I’m doing something wrong. Any ideas? thank you!
15 Ways to Homestead Anywhere - Even with a Young Family! - Simple Living Mommy
Friday 10th of May 2019
[…] is actually one of the main ways we adapted to living on one income when I became a stay at home […]
Monday 11th of March 2019
I have always dreamed of being a SAHM and even more so when my daughter was born last year. I have had to have Grandma pull her off of me in the morning, both of us in tears, and drag myself to work. It is the most heart breaking thing. She is usually happy to go to Gmas but on mornings like this (much like this morning actually) I don't feel like I can handle it. I am so envious of SAHMs and I wish we had that. My husband does not think we can afford it any way you splice it. I only work part time and I feel like he thinks I already get more than most moms and I should just be happy with that... but I am not! 😔 I
Monday 4th of March 2019
Thanks for sharing! It is a big adjustment but so worth the changes! Appreciating the outdoors is a great way to save!
Monday 4th of March 2019
This was a good read! It is so important to assess lifestyle and only get what you need, especially with cars and houses!