You CAN afford to be a stay at home mom (or dad) even if your spouse has a low income. If you are determined enough to make it happen, you can almost definitely find a way to cut your bills and spending down to a point that makes it possible. Here is how my husband Scotty and I did it:
Becoming a One Income Family
When we found out that I was pregnant with our Nugget, I was excited, but immediately filled with fear. Financial fear. He was a complete surprise and our living situation couldn’t have been much worse. We lived in an RV in my parent’s backyard with whom we have a very turbulent relationship, we had a ton of debt. It was one of the worst situations to be bringing a baby into.
Still, I was determined to make my dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom a reality.
With my husband’s unwavering support, we have been able to survive and thrive on one small income by making a few changes.
Getting awesome at not wasting food by keeping easy food storage supplies on hand like this and this were probably the easiest and fastest money-saving moves we made.
If you are in the same situation and want to stay at home with your little ones, please throw caution to the wind and decide right now that you are going to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make your dream a reality.
For us, that meant moving south to a new job for my husband, better weather, and away from the dysfunctional pull of our families. It meant resolving to live in an RV for a few months while we worked to build up my husband’s credit score so we could buy a home, and it meant living as cheaply as possible to make our dollars stretch as far as they possibly could. I started a blog and worked my BUTT off to get it to make $1000 a month in just 6 months.
Moving South
When Nugget was just 5 weeks old, we drove an RV, a moving truck, and our SUV south to our new home in Durham, NC. Our home was the RV that we were bringing, but we were parking it in the most inexpensive campground that we could find. We paid $160 a month for our Jayco Travel Trailer, and $440 a month in lot rent at the campground. This included electric and water and was our main financial priority.
You’re probably thinking we moved because my husband could make significantly more at this new job. Nope! We moved 7 hours from our hometown for a job that paid a few cents LESS per hour. Yes, and I was giving up my income to do so. To get to a better climate and away from negative family influences for our little one, it was so worth it. I can honestly say that decision we made a year ago was the BEST decision we have ever made for our family and our marriage. Hands down.
A New Car
We traded in our new SUV for a small Honda Civic. This saved us about half of what we had been paying in gas costs. I thought I would hate going from a large SUV to a small car, but the gas savings have been absolutely worth it! Don’t buy a new car like we did though. We absolutely regret this decision. Get a cheap beater car that is a reliable brand. Pay cash if at all possible, but aim for a tiny monthly payment if not.
Get Control of Your Food Budget!
Stop eating out on a whim. Going out to eat is one of my biggest weaknesses. We were able to still go out on occasion with the help of gift cards from our Discover card points and gifts from relatives. We still had to cut WAY back.
We’ve always been good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) about stocking up on food when we find a really good deal. The thing is, when you’re living in an RV in under 400 square feet, there just isn’t much space to store anything!
Learn to finally (FINALLY!) stick to a meal plan! We finally figured out why our meal plan kept failing and I believe this system will work for you too!
When you’re trying to live on a tight budget, start researching sales! The biggest food sale that Scotty and I go to is Big Lots (stick with me here…) when they have their 20% off sales.
I know that Big Lots is probably the last place you think of when you consider grocery shopping, but trust me, it’s worth it. Sign up on their website for their e-mail alerts and you’ll be notified of these 20% off sales when they roll around. It was at these sales that we stock up on canned goods and dried items like pastas.
Stay out of the store and order your food for pickup. Walmart actually offers this service and it has saved us a TON in impulse buys. I order what I need and get the heck out of there. It takes me 5 minutes from start to finish and is crazy easy with toddlers. If you use my link to order your first order, we both get $10 off. Pretty sweet deal!
Another option if it’s available in your area is Amazon Prime Pantry. I love that you can get Whole Foods items this way.
Watch for sales elsewhere. Whole Foods is usually too expensive for us to even consider shopping at, but one day we happened to be in the store and saw an AMAZING deal on organic tortillas. They were only 50 cents for a 6 pack of organic tortillas! We bought all that we thought we could fit in our freezer and then started using those for as many meals as we could.
Make “dump” meals. When you know things are going to be really tight, especially at the end of a paycheck when you’re waiting to get paid again, dump meals are an awesome go-to. We throw frozen veggies, vegetable stock, and some noodles or beans into a pot and see what happens. We’ve never made a soup or stew that we weren’t absolutely in love with!
Bread – stock up when you see the “We Made Too Much” racks at Walmart. Their French bread loaves are usually only $1 which is already an amazing deal, but you can often find them for only 75 cents or even less! When you see this, if you have the freezer space – stock up! We use these for dipping in our soups, for making French bread pizzas, and for just making plain old sandwiches.
Finally, shop at Aldi! You can buy produce cheaper than anywhere else (or use their sale ads to price match at Walmart), they have an incredible selection of rotating specialty items, and they have great prices on things like cheese. Also, keep an eye out for their discount section, usually in the middle of the store near the canned goods. Just last week we stocked up on bags of tortilla chips that were marked down to just 35 cents!
Don’t Forget to Live
We try to make great memories while still living on an extremely tight budget. Look for cheap or free entertainment options in your area. Our city offers free concerts in the park every other Thursday in the summer, so for just the price of parking, we get a night out on the lawn to listen to music and can pack our own food.
There is also a free outdoor movie night just one city over where we can go and watch old favorites, like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Get outside!
We LOVE to go camping and go for hikes, and you can usually do that stuff for free! Our local state park offers primitive camping for only $10. Explore local parks in your area. Follow local museums and other attractions on Facebook so you’ll be alerted when they’re having discount or free days.
Keep an eye out for festivals in your area. These are almost always free to get in, and if you eat before you go or pack your own snacks, you can have a whole day of fun without spending a dime!
Cable
Oh – and this one should go without saying – CANCEL YOUR CABLE! We used to pay $200 a month for cable TV and ooooh how I wish I could have that money back!! You won’t miss it, just do it. Today. Seriously, it’s that big a deal.
One of our favorite purchases was our Amazon Firestick. We use it to watch all of our favorite shows on Netflix, plus we can watch tons of other shows with Amazon Prime.
Get Netflix! We pay $8.59 for DVD service and $8.59 for streaming service. With these two options, we’re able to watch the same shows that I used to watch on HGTV, I just might have to wait for them to pop up on the streaming option unless I want to get DVDs in the mail and watch them a few episodes at a time. Sign up for Redbox text message alerts and go get a DVD every time they have a free offer. There are SO many ways around having cable that there is really no reason to keep forking out so much of your hard earned cash each month.
Amazon Prime (try Amazon Prime FREE here. That’s how I got started) is also a HUGE lifesaver. We can watch Daniel Tiger episodes whenever we want…plus their shipping lets us get awesome deals on things for all over the house – including our incredibly cheap king sized bed that we’re in love with, for dirt cheap and did I mention free shipping??
Get Motivated
Where there is a will, there is often a way. If your bills are what is keeping you from staying at home with your kids, consider making drastic changes. Move into a smaller house. Get rid of your car and get a beater car. Move to a cheaper area like we did. We finally were able to purchase a small home after living in an RV with our baby for 9 months.
Believe that you can do it and you can truly do anything! Call your credit card companies and see if they can work with you to lower your payment. Try this with all of your debtors – it can’t hurt to ask. Sign up for the budget plan on your utilities like electric and gas. Shop around for cheaper car insurance. Cut out the unnecessary things and you’ll see how much of a luxury they become. Coffee at Starbucks? We do that MAYBE once every 3 months. The only difference is now we actually enjoy it!
Finally, just do whatever it takes.
Here are some things I sacrificed in order to be a stay at home mom. I promise, it’s so worth it. I wake up next to my beautiful son every morning knowing I’m going to be the only one taking care of him for the next 13 hours until his daddy gets home. I get to see every new thing that he learns, I change every diaper (I see this as a perk!), and I make sure he has a well-rounded social life.
I am lucky to have an amazing husband who supports us and makes this possible. My husband works on a survey crew and LOVES what he does. He isn’t making a six-figure income. We’re living on a very low income and are able to make this work. PLUS, we have another baby on the way – and this one we planned!
If you are willing to make some HUGE changes, some sacrifices to your current lifestyle, and to get creative with paying bills and making food, I promise you that staying home with your family IS possible. If we can get out of the situation that we were in and still make this happen for our family, you absolutely can too!
Are you struggling to afford to stay at home with your kids? What changes did you make to make being a stay at home mom possible? Do you have any questions about how I’m able to do it? I want to help everyone stay at home with their babies if that’s what they’re being pulled to do. Reach out to me in the comments and let’s get you on the right track!
Hi! I’m visiting from EBA! woot woot!
I left a high paying engineering job to be home with our babies. It has been worth it! Like my dad says, Money means nothing in life. He’s right. It’s just a means to an end and if what a person is looking for is just more stuff or a bigger place to live or whatever, they really miss out on the good stuff like not getting to watch kids take their first steps. Like I said it’s been worth not making a giant salary to get to be with my kids. 🙂
Go EBA! 🙂 Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but I teared up when I read your comment! Your dad is absolutely right – money means literally nothing in life. I truly wish more people would realize that before it’s too late and they’ve already missed too much. Thanks for the comment! 🙂
This is a great post! Its good to hear my husband and I are not the only one making seemingly crazy decisions so I can stay home. I left my great job as a nurse when our son was 18 months to stay home. My husband was in the middle of a job transition and our income was next to nothing. We moved from a large home on three acres to a two bedroom town-home, took a hand me down car from my in-laws, dropped our expensive insurance for a Christian medical share plan and just trusted God with the outcome. It’s been 7 months and we finally sold our old home which will allow us to pay off ALL of our debts, hooray for being debt free!! We also have enough money left to pursue a second adoption. As hard as its been financially I wouldn’t change a thing. We waited 13 years for our son and I love every minute of every day I’m with him.
I’m so happy to hear things are really coming together for your family! Another adoption?? That’s incredible! It definitely takes sacrifice to find a way to stay home, especially when you’re used to a two income household, but there is really no where I’d rather be. I hope things continue to go so well for you and your family!
Jamie I was a stay at home mom when my girls were babies. My girls are now 24 and 21. It was the most rewarding thing I could do for the girls. My husband worked very hard for me to be able to stay home. I was able to stay home until they went to school. Then i worked part time until they were older. Then when I wentto work full time I was still able to go to sporting events with them and school programs. I am all for Moms being able to stay home with their babies if they can do so. Keep up the blog it is awesome.
I’m so happy you were able to stay home with your girls! Thank you for the encouragement also – I really appreciate it! 🙂
I’m a nurse in my late 40s and married. I’ve worked full-time since my oldest son was 3 weeks old. I missed out on Christmas programs, hockey games, parent conferences and on and on. My youngest is now 23 and every day I regret all I missed. I applaud you women for staying home with your children. My age group looked down on stay home moms, to the detriment of the children. I have so much respect for you all. You are bucking society’s expectations and creating a better generation of children. Stay strong. Wish I could have had the strength to ignore the peer and family pressure and stayed home also.
Hi Cammy, I’m sorry you didn’t get to stay at home with your kids and now wish you had. Try not to look back with regret. Instead, appreciate the time you have now! As a nurse, I know for a fact that you made a huge difference in other’s lives when you weren’t at your kids’ programs and I’m sure your kids appreciate the sacrifices you made to provide for your family. There is no one right way to parent. We’re all just doing the best that we can with what we have. You’re no different and I’m definitely not a better parent because I stay at home. I’m thankful for moms like you who still go to work and make a huge difference! I shutter to think where we’d be without nurses. I’m sending you positive thoughts 🙂
I went back to work 6 weeks after having my son via c section. I was a mess! But I worked through it and just did it.
We just had a little girl about 8 weeks ago. She is refusing a bottle and my dream has always been to be a SAHM. We are trying everything to make it possible for me to stay home! Thank you for this post!
Hi Jordyn, congratulations on the new baby! I really hope you find a way to be home with her full time. It was a transition for us, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Good luck!
Thank you for such an encouraging article! You have proven that where there is a will, there is a way. Your genuine desire to help other moms is so genuine. I’m sharing your story!
Hi Lindsay – your words mean so much to me! I really hope I am helping other moms achieve their goals. That would be a dream come true to me 🙂 Thank you so much for stopping by and for your sweet compliment. You made my year 🙂
I’m so happy I came across your story. Mine is quite similar with a few exceptions. I’ve been both a working mom and now stay at home/entrepreneur mom. And I’m a single mom. Anyway, my relationship with my family is strained because I’ve decided not to live the “traditional” life…which really isn’t traditional if you think about it. But anyway, I’ve done just about everything you’ve written about to save money. I thought my kids were going to all but die when i cut the cable especially my teenager, but they dont miss it and I love not paying that bills every month.
Now I’m making plans to move to NC to get a fresh start away from the negativity. I have a cousin who just moved down there this summer and we visited her and she raised her kids as a stay at home mom so she understands and is very supportive. I need supportive people in my corner. I also have a good friend who moved down there 4/5 years ago. He’s in Durham, my cousin is in Raleigh. We stayed in Raleigh when we visited and we loved it. Now I’m trying to decide if I want to move to Durham or Raleigh.
I wish more people would, at least, respect our decision to be home with our children. Thanks for the great read and we’ll wishes.
Love the tips I really want to cut cable but my better half does not want to give up his sports.
Switching from gourmet grocery store or even our local grocery store to Aldi has saved us so much money! I wrote about it here…
http://financiallysavvymom.com/2016/10/10/10-items-you-need-to-buy-from-aldis/
I also switched to straight talk for a cell phone provider from ATT and have not looked back!
I received a new quote on my car insurance! Which will save me thousands of dollars for better coverage!
We have to make time to go to parks and festivals:)
Great tips!!! Thank you
Recently I made the decision to be a SAH momma too. It’s been a huge struggle going down to one paycheck though. I know everyone I talk to say to cut out the non essentials (ie cable) but how do you cut out services like that if you’re in contract with them and not be forced to pay a high cancellation fee?
Help!
Hi Tara! I’m sorry I don’t have a solution for you about the cancellation fee. Unfortunately, that’s how they “get you.” You can always call and tell them you’d like to negotiate a way out of your contract. The way I look at it – the worst they can say is no. I hate that position. Worst case scenario, try to wait it out and don’t do ANYTHING that could extend your contract. Sometimes something as simple as adding channels to your cable subscription or even downgrading your account can start the timer all over again. Good luck!
Hey, I saw a post you made in the EBA forum and your blog name caught my eye.
I love that you include the advice to still live life. I used to get so wrapped up in saving money that I didn’t do anything or even leave the house.
I’ll be following. ?
I want to stay home with my four babies so badly. We just built a house but thanks to a different financing option,we have a pretty low payment. I’m just not sure how to make it work since I’m so upside down in my vehicle and can’t pay it off or trade it. We’d love to pay cash for something else and sell what we have but can’t without still owing an arm and a leg. I’m currently a teacher and just have such a burden to be with my children rather than everyone else’s. Taking that initial step is just so huge and scary. I have some work from home part time prospects but again, I’m just scared. 🙁 This inspired me so much and I love reading other people’s comments. I agree that money means nothing….but my babies mean everything.
Hi Jaime. I found your website today through pinterest for homesteading. I started exploring your site and well, I am grateful for the discovery. I have been a SAHM for the last 6 years. My husband and I have three children together and we are both late 40’s. I have two older children as well and missed a lot with them. Our oldest “C” is moderately autistic, next is “D” who has sensory ans speech issuea and youngest “S” is well quite the chatterbox; making up for anything his two sibs are lacking. My life is busy, filled with driving too and from school “C” and “D” and therapy sessions for “C”. I try really hard to stick to a budget when shopping, but stretching 120.00 a week for groceries and anything else our family needs quite a challenge. I have chickens, which are about 8 months old. They were laying about 6 eggs a day but with cooler weather they are down to about three a day. I try to making my own goodies and anything else I can. We have cable, phone and internet that’s killing us slowly at 212.00 a month. Last year we switched out cells from sprint to walmart family thru t mobile. but my service can be sketchy because of where we live in SC. We have talked about dropping cable and phone, but my husband is truly dragging his feet on this one. He is a city guy where I was raised in the country and can live without much tv. I don’t know how to break the habit. Any ideas? I shop at aldi and troll sale papers for best deals. I occasionally make my way into our local walmart for things I know are cheaper. I read another blog that talked of trolling goodwill for clothing and other such necessities. What’s your take on that? I appreciate any help you can provide. Thank you for such a helpful blog.
Please help me figure out how to do this. We overdraw our bank account every other week. We pay out more in bills than we are bringing in. It’s really hard. I’m trying not to panic, but we are already in a bind. Thank you.
Hi Holly, I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. Are you able to cut costs anywhere? Cable or Internet? Can you negotiate with any of your utility or loan companies by explaining your situation? Usually, companies are willing to work with you if they fear your next step may be bankruptcy. Also, take advantage of any extra income you can make. Can you babysit? Pet sit or walk? Usertesting.com is a legitimate site that may help you make up to $100 extra a month. Finally, don’t panic. Everything is going to be ok. You just have to take baby steps until you get there.
I would love some help!! My husband is a surveyor as well, and we both work full time but can’t seem to catch a break with all of our bills and every day to day expenses. We want to be able to do more for our two children (my stepchildren), and we’re also planning to have one of our own, but it’s just really hard right now, and we shouldn’t have to put a hold on trying to have a child of our own all because we’re struggling. I am very eager to be a mother. I just need some advice on how we can get ourselves back on track and get ahead! Thank you so much!
Hi Kylie! What is your living situation? Is there any way you could move to a smaller/more affordable home in order to get some of your bills under control? Negotiate with whatever companies you can – this will usually be cable/cell/internet providers. Get on a budget with your electric and gas (if applicable). I always say to myself “watch your pennies and your dollars will watch themselves.” Seemingly stupid things like adjusting the thermostat to a warmer temp in the summer and a colder one in the winter make a huge difference. STOP GOING OUT TO EAT. I’m guilty of not taking my own advice here, but holy crap the money we spent on restaurants! It was enough to supply a small army. Also, keep in mind that things do have a way of working themselves out, even if it looks like there will be a small gap on paper. I hope to hear back from you with more info about your situation. We can figure this out!