Why is Sex Suddenly Painful?
Today, we’re going to get personal about a subject not enough people talk about – painful sex. Not just any painful sex, but excruciating pain that seems to not have any cause and develops overnight.
This is exactly what happened to me.
On the few occasions that I’ve told my story, there has been at least one other woman who says “oh my gosh, I’m going through the same thing!”
So, it begs the question, why aren’t we talking about this?!
I’m about to explain, in detail, exactly what I did to cure my own pain. I am not a doctor and you should always consult a doctor you trust before making extreme dietary changes or adding vitamins to your daily regimen.
My experience is very much like other people with this same pain.
One day, everything is completely fine, then seemingly out of nowhere, sex is so incredibly painful that it’s basically impossible.
This is how my battle with Vulvar Vestibulitis began.
Everything That Didn’t Work
I made an appointment with my doctor who I absolutely loved at the time.
After a pap smear came back showing no abnormalities whatsoever, she said the pain would probably resolve on it’s own and told me to try lubricant.
Even though I knew a simple lubricant wouldn’t fix this kind of pain, I left her office without questioning her. I was completely discouraged.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided something had to be seriously wrong.
My doctor recommended I try Neurontin on my follow up visit. She insisted this was what was going to solve all of my pain.
It didn’t make any difference in the pain level at all.
We tried a couple more prescriptions that had no effect on the pain, but DID have an effect on my migraines.
With extremely sensitive migraines, it was a delicate dance to figure out medications work while still allowing me to live a full life without being debilitated by migraines.
I switched birth control pills.
I turned my doctor down when she offered a numbing cream that would at least allow my husband to enjoy our sex life and hopefully make it so that I couldn’t feel as much pain.
My husband is basically the most awesome human on the planet and never cared if sex was possible or not if it meant I would be in pain, but I insisted we have some sort of sex life because we were young and in love and I wasn’t going to let some stupid unexplained issue come between us in any way.
My Turning Point
After 3 more appointments, my doctor finally called me while I was at work and I took the call in my car to have some privacy.
I’ll never forget just one sentence that changed everything:
“I don’t mean to say it’s all in your head, but maybe…”
I didn’t hear anything else specifically. Just that maybe it was some kind of emotional response to something…but nothing in my life had changed.
Instead of being heartbroken and feeling like I was going to have this pain forever, I got more angry than I have ever been about a medical issue and decided I was going to find this solution on my own.
This pain was real. I describe it as an eleven on a scale of one to ten.
We’re not talking slight discomfort, we’re talking extreme pain.
I walked back into the office I shared with another coworker and told her what my doctor had said.
She had experienced unexplained pain as well, feeling a burning in her mouth that no doctor could explain in addition to vulvar pain like I was experiencing.
She insisted I try this diet that had given her some relief.
It was perfect timing as my husband was about to leave for naval training for a few months. Why not try it and see?
The Road to Recovery is Paved in Calcium
I’ll explain in a second exactly what I did, but let me give you my results first.
My husband left in the beginning of January for 3 months. He came back at the beginning of April.
In that time, after following a very strict diet and vitamin regimen, the pain was gone.
The pain wasn’t diminished to a point that I could physically stand to have sex, the pain was completely gone.
They don’t have a beautiful website or high tech options to help you understand why you’re going through this, but they have done a ton of legwork and have figured out a solution that has helped many women just like me to recover from this unexplained pain.
I changed my diet completely and followed a low oxalate diet.
Forgive me for my ignorance in understanding this completely, but I’ll relay it to you exactly as I understand it. If you’re interested in reading the same info I did, I highly recommend you purchase this cookbook.
Oxalates are an organic acid – they’re what people prone to kidney stones also avoid.
I took high doses of calcium citrate and avoided vitamin D.
Because vitamin D helps your body absorb calcium.
I wasn’t trying to absorb these massive amounts of calcium, I wanted the calcium to bond with the oxalates, preventing them from entering my cell walls and instead allowing them to be flushed from my body.
3 Months to a Pain-Free Sex Life
You can read the steps recommended by the VP Foundation here, but they recommend starting with dietary changes, waiting a few weeks, adding the calcium citrate, waiting even longer, then adding more interventions.
I was annoyed with my doctor, annoyed with my body, and desperate for some control over the situation.
In 3 months, my pain was completely gone.
I’ve been pain-free for over 6 years now.
Today, I can eat any food I want without the pain making a reappearance.
I’ve delivered 3 babies vaginally with no pain medication.
I believe I was cured of Vulvar Vestibulitis with these 3 interventions.
Exactly What I Did
I read this cookbook cover to cover and then read it again.
I bought this exact brand and dose of Calcium Citrate.
I took 6 of these a day – sometimes as many as 10. That’s between 6 and 10 GRAMS of Calcium Citrate every single day.
It’s very important that your Calcium Citrate not have vitamin D in it as your body will then absorb the calcium instead of bonding with the oxalates to help you eliminate them.
I bought N-acetyl-glucoasamine like this and took 2 pills in the morning and 2 more in the evening. That’s 1000 mg in the morning and another 1000 mg before bed.
In the cookbook my coworker shared with me from the VP foundation, there are low, medium, and high oxalate foods.
I followed a low oxalate diet to a T, never cheating even once, and avoided all high oxalate foods like the plague.
Low Oxalate Foods I Ate the Most
- All fresh meats
- Butter and margarine
- white rice
- canned peaches
- canned pears
- cereals made from corn or rice
- egg noodles
- rye bread
For those few months, my dinners were almost always egg noodles and chicken broth because it was cheap and easy. I also ate lots of eggs with some rye toast.
I drank lots of water to help my body flush out all of the oxalates that I possibly could.
Foods to Avoid
- Chocolate milk
- White or wheat bread – I ate rye even though I hate it
- brown rice
If you’re experiencing a sudden onset of pain during sex, I can’t recommend enough that you ask your doctor about trying this method after you’ve ruled out all other medical conditions. It absolutely sucks to give up some of your favorite foods, but this method worked for me so intensely and so quickly that it was so worth it.
Give up a few foods or give up an enjoyable sex life with the person you love the most?
It was such an easy decision for me once I finally got fed up with all of the treatments my doctor tried not working. This worked wonders for me and quite literally saved our sex life. I hope it works for you too!