If you’ve been feeling the burnout and boredom creeping in, you’re not alone. We all hit that point in our journey where the lack of motivation seems overwhelming. But here’s the good news: with a few simple strategies and a shift in perspective, you can regain your sense of purpose, motivation, and sanity. I’ve got five kids and I’ve been there. Let’s dig into how to stay motivated as a stay at home mom and start reclaiming the best parts of parenthood!
Related: How to Feel Fulfilled as a Stay at Home Mom (15 best tips!)
My Journey
As a stay at home mom, every day can start to feel like a boring yet still overwhelmed repeat of the last.
I felt myself starting to not enjoy the magic of my kids like I used to.
Instead, I felt like I was failing on all fronts.
I couldn’t keep up with the insane amount of housework that comes with having tiny people.
We couldn’t seem to fall into a rhythm with homeschooling.
Then there was the fear that crept in at night that I wasn’t enjoying my kids like I should be.
Stay-at-home mom depression is a real thing.
In fact, after I had our second baby, I had a severe case of postpartum depression.
It was one of the hardest periods of my life. You can read about my journey through postpartum depression here.
I honestly can say that I feel like I’m on the other side of this now.
I am out of that stay-at-home mom rut and enjoy the kids being little while dreading them growing up on me.
We still let the house get out of control from time to time, but for the most part, I feel like I have it together.
If I can figure this out, hot mess that I am, I honestly believe that you can too.
Let’s get started.
Set Realistic Goals:
The first step toward regaining motivation is to feel like you are trying to achieve something.
For me, it was goals that were missing.
Sure I had the goal of trying to get the house clean before my husband got home or to enjoy the kids more, but that wasn’t enough.
I needed quantifiable, specific goals that I could check off of a to-do list.
I started using my simple bullet journal religiously.
No, I don’t doodle and add cute stickers, but it has made a huge impact on the quality of my life.
I needed goals like “do two math lessons with Kolton” and “play Ticket to Ride Jr. with the boys.”
This is the magic sauce that will keep you going – pay attention.
I want you to sit down and write down what you want more of in your life.
Maybe it’s more quality time with your kids.
Less stress about meal times.
To feel like you’re feeding your family healthier meals.
To find yourself again in the midst of stay-at-home-motherhood.
Whatever it is, write it down.
Then you’re going to form your goals around accomplishing more of those things.
Each thing on your list needs to be able to be measured.
Set goals like “spend 15 minutes putting away a load of laundry” and “unload the dishwasher” to tasks that are normally never done like dishes and laundry.
By goal setting with the tasks you had to get done anyway, you will notice drastic changes in your mental health.
Related: How to Declutter When You Have No Time!
Create a Daily Routine:
Establishing a daily routine can provide structure and purpose to your day.
You can read about my morning routine here.
I have found that if I get through my entire morning routine, the rest of the day falls into place.
It feels like I’ve already accomplished a lot in the morning, so the rest of the day starts to feel like icing on the cake.
Be sure to create a routine around checking items off of your new to-do list that we just built.
There’s no better time than first thing in the morning with a fresh cup of coffee to plan out your day.
Daily tasks that become a habit will be your best friend in staying motivated and getting things done.
Self-Care Is Not Optional:
Oh this took me forever to figure out.
I couldn’t look at self-care and think of it as anything but selfish.
Especially when I’d been on the phone all day scheduling doctor’s appointments, pushing the kids through lessons, and still had a messy house.
How could I possibly take any time to do anything other than get important things done?
Now, my self care looks like two things, either working on this blog or reading.
I have read 23 books in the last 3 and a half months.
Mostly Colleen Hoover and Lucy Score, but I have a long list of self-improvement books coming up on my to-do list.
Taking the time to read, despite having 5 kids at home, has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself.
I just find time in the pockets of the day that would otherwise be spent on Facebook or Instagram.
When I’m drying my hair, I read a book on my Kindle app.
I signed up for 3 months of free Kindle Unlimited and have just started having to pay for it.
It’s so worth it, if you ask me.
What can self-care look like for you?
A shower with the door locked so you’re uninterrupted?
Doing 10 minutes of Youtube yoga before your kids wake up?
Self care means different things to different people, but I highly suggest you pick something and spend at least 15 minutes on a daily basis squeezing that in.
Nap time is your time.
That’s when I sit down to write a blog post or speed read my new favorite book.
Spending some time doing things I actually want to do make a huge difference in my mental health.
Lean on Your Support System:
Reach out to mom friends, or seek support from family and your partner.
My husband is my very best friend and understands the struggles of our kids like no one else ever could.
Telling him about my frustrations makes me feel better, but I’ve found it makes it worse on him.
He then feels a need to fix it and tries to take on all the tasks that I actually enjoy, I just needed to complain about in a frustrated moment.
Talking to someone who understands the daily struggles can be a game changer.
One of my very best friends lives thousands of miles away, but we talk almost every day on Marco Polo.
Hearing that her house has applesauce dried on the baseboards makes me feel about a million times more normal.
Set Boundaries with Social Media:
While social media can be a great way to connect, it can also lead to comparisons and a sense of inadequacy.
I honestly don’t even know if Facebook is used for connection anymore so much as spying and bragging.
Social media and society in general are definitely not what they were.
Everyone has an opinion about everything and sharing personal aspects of your life just open you up to harsh, unwarranted criticism.
I think a happy life is best lived in private as much as possible.
Since I’ve developed this new addiction to reading books, I hardly ever even look at social media anymore.
It has also made me much less aware of current events which I’m starting to think is a good thing.
Break Tasks into Manageable Steps:
When faced with a seemingly endless to-do list, breaking tasks into smaller, achievable steps can help you tackle them one at a time.
I always think to myself “what is the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
Then I put one foot in front of the other and get stuff done.
I have ADD, I am a serial procrastinator, and I’m literally at the mercy of to-do lists.
If it isn’t written down, it doesn’t get done.
Learn to make lists for all of the things you have to get done.
Download your brain into a simple bullet journal like I do so you can stop holding it at the front of your brain, afraid to risk forgetting it.
Learn New Skills:
If you ever have some kid-free time, start reading up on something that excites you.
Make plans to cultivate new skills or hobbies.
It can be something that’s feasible with kids, like gardening or hiking.
Or it can be something completely crazy like a massive career change when the kids are older or going to get your master’s degree.
Figure out who you want to be and start taking baby steps to get there.
Stay Connected with Personal Interests:
Don’t lose sight of your own life and interests.
Even with young kids, finding time to engage in activities you enjoy can give you a renewed sense of purpose.
I completely lost myself in parenthood and had no idea who I was for a while.
I was drowning in baby cuddles and dirty diapers and I absolutely loved it.
Then I started to realize that I had zero hobbies and didn’t have any real interests.
That’s when I started this blog.
Now, I consider blogging to be self-care.
Set Priorities and Let Go of Perfection:
Accept that not every day will be perfect.
Define your priorities and focus on the most important things.
A clean house can wait if it means spending quality time with your children.
As Do It On a Dime says, “a done something is better than a perfect nothing.”
Just get the things done, stick to the basics when you’re really drowning, and do things that make you feel good.
Not like run a 5k with zero training.
But something like spending quality time with each kid every day until it becomes a habit.
Drinking 2 or 3 times as much water as you usually do.
Waking up and doing your hair and makeup for no reason other than you feel better about yourself afterward.
Plan for the Year Ahead:
Consider setting goals for the upcoming year.
As any admissions counselor at college will tell you – the time is going to pass anyway.
If you start to set goals and make plans and challenge yourself now, in a year – who knows where you could be.
IF you don’t do those things?
One year from now you’ll be exactly where you are right now.
If you always do what you always did you’ll always get what you always got.
The best ways to make big changes are to take small, consistent steps in the right direction.
Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work, and it’s normal to experience moments of burnout and lack of motivation. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and there are plenty of strategies that can make a world of difference. By setting realistic goals, embracing self-care, staying connected with personal interests, and seeking support, you can stay motivated and navigate the ups and downs of being a stay-at-home mom. You’ve got this!
